Top Dragon Ball GT ep 1 - Mysterious Dragon Balls Appear!! Goku Turns Into a Child?! by Top Blogger

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Top Dragon Ball GT ep 1 - Mysterious Dragon Balls Appear!! Goku Turns Into a Child?! by Top Blogger


Kami's Temple is torn apart by the fierce battle taking place in the Heavenly Realm. Fifteen years have come and gone since the battle with Majin Boo last split the Heavens apart, and then as now, it was due to a battle that is taking place here rather than sacrificing the Lower Realm.


In spite of the fact that Dende and Mr. Popo had a room constructed simply so Goku and Oob could fight in it, the two are still ripping apart everything as they battle in honor of Oob graduating as Goku's student.

And the battle is... pretty lame.

Everything about this opening sucks. For one, it needlessly skips us five years from the finale of Z, where all the fun and interesting shit with Goku and Oob happened. Secondly, it hardly seems like the all-out fight Goku wanted from Oob when they first agreed to train. And it seems like apart from learning bukujutsu and how to shoot ki from his hands, Oob has hardly improved as a fighter. I mean, Goku is still fighting him in his normal state... and he has the advantage. In their fight at the end of Z, Goku was on the ropes as often as Oob, and only would have won because he knew how to fly and shoot lasers. Is there a cap on Oob's powers? There didn't seem to be on Boo's, which is who he is. How hard would it have been to show these two on some faraway world, with Goku as SSJ3 and Oob covered in pink Majin ki as the uninhabited world crumbles around their battle. And thirdly, where the fuck is Piccolo?


Actually bud, you're off the hook. Apart from providing some initial designs and promo artwork for DBGT, Toriyama was very hands off in the whole process. He was so sick of Dragon Ball by the time Z ended, it was probably part of the contract of GT that they leave him the fuck alone.

 
(All we can blame him for.)

So who do we have to blame for the clusterfuck that is this opening few minutes, and any future GT misfires?

Oh, well, that makes a lot of sense.


After a presumably long and um, long battle, Goku and Oob come out clutching each other and glad for a fight well had. I guess.

Then they collapse and die.


Wait, there's more? That wasn't 24 minutes already?


How the fuck are we only five minutes into this episode. These must be Namek minutes.

Elsewhere in the Heavenly Realm, a familiar face of villainy as come seeking the Dragon Balls...!

Pilaf!
And his ever-loyal mooks, Shuu and Mai!

They're old now, which made perfect sense if you watched Dragon Ball in the chronological order of its release. But if you're following the timeline since 2013, Battle of Gods introduced the child Pilaf Gang who had gotten that way when Pilaf wished for Shen Long to restore their youth and he made them kids. On the surface this contradicts this episode, but I think if you read between the lines it makes them being old now even better

Clearly they went through all the work to restore themselves to a proper age by once more reassembling the Dragon Balls, but instead of "Make us in our mid 20s again", Pilaf stupidly said, "I WANNA BE OLDER, DAMMIT!" and now they all look like decrepit geriatrics. (And it makes what's about to happen when they use these Dragon Balls even more hilarious.)


Keen-eyed readers will notice that these Dragon Balls have black stars instead of red ones, and that's because they aren't the same set used on Earth in our story hitherto. According to Pilaf, they were created by the previous Kami and Piccolo Daimao from before they were split and were brimming with strength, so these are even more powerful than the other Dragon Balls. (I guess when Piccolo and Kami merged into one again they would have reappeared. A bit of a stretch that no one noticed them before now but I'll give you this one, Toei.) Exactly how Pilaf knew about all this, who knows. (Er, library?)

Mai reminds Pilaf that they're usually interrupted at the last minute so he should make with the wishing.


Meanwhile, an interruption appears.


Pilaf and gang summon the dragon, and it's a really rad looking red Shen Long. He's apparently called Ultimate Shen Long, or simply Black Star Shen Long by some fans, but those names don't given him any character so I'm going to call him Puff.

Before Pilaf can request a wish from Puff, Goku shows up.


Even though Goku doesn't understand why the sky went dark (did you miss the gigantic fucking dragon god outside, Goky?) and knows Pilaf's Gang's M.O., he seems more excited to see them than anything. He asks how they're doing these days and Pilaf tries to play it cool for like, half a second, then he shoots rockets at Goku.

It doesn't work out.


Furious, Pilaf wishes Goku was a little kid again, since he was so much easier to catch then (well yeah you just had to paint a few pink arrows on the floor pointing to your dungeon).

So Puff the Magic Dragon makes it so.
"... did my balls just retract?"

Goku is turned back into the 12-year-old Pilaf, Shuu, and Mai first met all those years ago... only he's way more ripped.

Dende and Popo walks in and are shocked,
the Dragon Balls scatter,
and Pilaf's crew follows their example and gets the heck out of there.


Kaio-sama contacts Goku to tell him that a wish made on those Dragon Balls can only be undone by those same Dragon Balls, and unlike Shen Long or Porunga, when Puff the Magic Dragon scatters his balls, he scatters them all across the four galaxies.

But Goku doesn't mind being like this, so he decides to go home to his wife who hasn't seen him in five years with a dick that doesn't work.
"Boy, you dumb as hell."

And why hasn't anyone seen Goku in five years? Yeah, we all know Goku is a flake who doesn't understand time and gets so caught up in training that he forgets to use the toilet. But it isn't like he left Earth. And his ki is constantly spiking from his training with Oob. Gohan, Goten, Videl, Pan, and basically all of his friends can feel his ki. Why the fuck wouldn't they just drop in and say hello? They know with Goku it isn't personal, he's just a dipshit. Pan was flying around the world five years ago when she was a tiny baby, but you mean to tell me Gohan can't drop in to remind his dad to go home and fuck his wife on the way home from work every now and then? Bullshit.

... Fair enough.

Meanwhile, in the city...
Traffic is backed up thanks to a bank robbery turned hostage situation.

Goku, naturally, is having a meal nearby.


At the same time, Goku's granddaughter Pan, now 9 and interested in boys (which is normal ... I guess? Been awhile since I was a 9 year old girl) so she's out on a date with another kid (who has a ridiculous taste in fashion) to see a movie.

But thanks to the poorly managed hostage situation...
... Pan can't get across the street to see her movie.
(And Goku can't eat his noodles in peace.)


Annoyed, and the true daughter of both Great Saiyamen, Pan decides to take the hostage situation into her own hands.

And proceeds to fuck shit up.
(All of those guys are dead now.)


While Pan put down the hostage crisis, little Goku came over to help but Pan, not recognizing him (because just anybody has that kind of hair right) tells him to leave it to Big Sister.


Unfortunately for Pan, the boy she on a date with is a filthy casual who can't handle a girl who can murder a bunch of dudes with her fists.

The last face you see before death.


Muten Roshi is there as well. Well, I say Muten Roshi is there, but given that he's not voiced by the then-recently-deceased Kohei Miyauchi and the Toei writer's room really don't know what to do with him other than assault women, he's really more of a living, breathing parody of the former Muten Roshi. (On the flip side, the young women who he grasps at and blows kisses toward giggle and smile at him, so his hot new style seems to be working to his advantage.)


Goku and Pan greet him at the same time and once Roshi realizes who Goku is and that he's a little kid again, he scoops him up like a little baby and rocks him.

Pan goes into shell shock over her tiny Gramps.

Cut to Mt. Paozu, (that had to be an awkward flight) where Chichi is wailing that Goku has once again found a way to look younger than her while she keeps getting older.

"And contrary to what hentai would have you believe, I am not a shotacon!"

"Well dad, this isn't the weirdest thing you've done."
"How the fuck isn't this the weirdest thing he's done?"



Just then, Kaio-sama contacts the family with some dire news. He's been researching the Black Star Dragon Balls (Er, library?) and discovered that not only do they scatter across the four galaxies after use, but the planet they're used on, if they aren't gathered up within a year right after they're used, will explode!

DUN DUN DUUNNNNN!!


Goku has a year to travel the entire universe as a little kid to find these new mysterious seven Dragon Balls or else Earth will blow up. Why, that sounds like the plot of bad anime filler.




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